Parenting: The Job with Zero Training and Endless Challenges

Imagine starting a new job, one you’ll have for the next 20, 30, even 40 years. Not just any job, but one that demands every ounce of your energy, patience, and creativity. You’d expect some training, right? Maybe a mentor, a guide, at least a manual?

Welcome to parenting. A full-time job with no training, no performance reviews, and no instruction manual. You can literally walk out of the hospital with a baby and… boom! You’re hired. Congratulations—you’re a parent.

And the stakes? Oh, just raising another human being. No pressure.

Mistakes, Bloopers, and Learning on the Job

Let me be clear: I’ve made plenty of mistakes as a parent. And here’s the kicker, I’m an educator. I’ve spent decades studying child growth and development. I have tools in my toolbox! But even with all that training, I still found myself in situations where I thought, What am I doing?

Like the time I was traveling with my kids—just me, my 7-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son, visiting family. My husband wasn’t with me, and the kids were out of sorts from being away from home. My son was dysregulated, my patience was gone, and by day five, I was running on fumes.

And then it happened. I snapped.

My son was being “mouthy,” and I—an early childhood educator—put soap in his mouth.

Yes, SOAP. The moment it happened, it felt like a dagger to my heart. I know better. I know better. What am I doing? But I had reached the end of my rope. Exhausted. Hungry. Depleted.

The subconscious part of my brain—the one that defaults to old, ineffective behaviors—had taken over. I lost access to all those tools I had carefully built over years of training.

And guess what? My kids still talk about it to this day. They joke about how ironic it is that their mom, a parenting educator, snapped and did something so out of character.

The Turning Point: From Shame to Reflection

That moment became a turning point for me. Not because I magically became the perfect parent (spoiler: there’s no such thing), but because it forced me to pause and reflect. Why did that happen? What do I need to change to make sure it doesn’t happen again?

The truth is, parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress. It’s about showing up every day, doing your best, making mistakes, and learning from them. Taking time to reflect on those tough moments—when we lose our cool or make a decision we regret—is crucial. But in our busy lives, it’s often the last thing we do.

Between school drop-offs, sports practices, homework, and just trying to get dinner on the table, who has time to sit down and reflect on their parenting choices?

But here’s the thing: we must make time.

The Oxygen Mask Analogy

You’ve probably heard the airplane analogy—put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. It’s the same with parenting. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we can’t show up for our kids in the way they need.

Are you giving yourself the space and grace to recharge? Are you pausing to check in with yourself—physically, emotionally, and mentally?

For me, that moment with the soap in my son’s mouth was a reminder that I needed to prioritize my well-being, too. Rest, nourishment, and emotional regulation aren’t luxuries—they’re necessities if we want to parent from a place of calm and connection.

Progress, Not Perfection

Some of you reading this might be gasping at the idea of putting soap in a child’s mouth. Others might be thinking, That’s nothing! I would’ve done way more than that.

Parenting exists on a spectrum, and we all find ourselves somewhere along it. The key is to recognize where we are and move the needle toward the kind of parent we want to be.

For me, that experience was humbling but transformative. It’s also part of why I started Parent Collaborative—to create a community where parents can support each other, learn together, and move toward progress, not perfection.

Final Thought

Parenting is truly the hardest job with the least amount of training. If you were starting a long-term career, you’d expect mentorship, guidance, and continuous learning along the way. Why should parenting be any different?

You don’t have to figure it out on your own. Just like in a career, having a mentor or guide can make all the difference. That’s what Parent Collaborative is here for—to support you, offer guidance, and help you build the tools you need to feel confident and connected as a parent.

If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, reach out to me. I offer one-on-one consultations and personalized support because no parent should have to navigate this journey alone. I’d be honored to walk alongside you, helping you breathe a little easier and feel a little more equipped for the road ahead.

Remember, it’s about progress, not perfection. And every step forward matters.

You’ve Got This!

Nicole